We Shall See...

I've been dating this AMAZING guy, Tristan Clark. We met about 14 years ago and recently reconnected. I asked him out and he said yes!!!

Oh joy! One of the happiest days of my life! 2 months, AMAZING! I mean this guy would talk to me all the time, tell me I was beautiful for no reason, bring me coffee, etc. Totally amazing. I never felt like I could possibly do enough for him. After my past relationships I must be a piece of shit, right?

Well anyways...After 2 beautiful months...I notice something is wrong. He's not as happy as he was, isn't communicating as much as he was...etc. So I ask him what the fuck is wrong?

Then a fucking bombshell hits. His ex is giving him a bunch of shit because of me spending time with the kids, essentially. She cheated on him for about 5 years but that's irrelevant apparently...Now I'm the douche bag... So he tells me we both need to handle our ex's.

I don't DISAGREE. BUT... He can't give me any sort of time frame for when he thinks his ex might be handled and when we might get back together... I have an exact program for handling my ex and an exact time frame but he can't give me anything!!! Is he still in love with her? Was he never really in love with me???? I don't know but it's driving me insane!!!

I think I deserve someone who loves me as much as I love them, but maybe I'm delusional. Maybe there is no sane person out there for me. It's making me think maybe I should go back to my ex, he's crazy but at least I'd know what to expect...

I'm so lost...I wish I hadn't tried my hand at love again....it's such a fake think apparently...